Buone Ferie!

We're off to the beach for the month. My husband's family has a huge house in Puglia just two minutes from the Ionian Sea. In the morning I can go for a swim in crystal clear warm water, bike on the coast and then go running on the hills. Oh, I'm bringing my computer too 'cause I do have to work...gotta make a living. But there's nothing better than working for yourself and being able to move your "desk" wherever you want. I'll post from the coast!

Dream Conclusion

Do you remember that dream question I wrote about in my May entry? If you're new you can go back and read it. I think it's somewhere around the 18th of May...anyway, I did come to a conclusion. An anonymous "Rusty" is the one that I think came pretty close as he/she said in the comments section:

"The fear of leaving things behind may not be the worst one, but for sure is the one more able to destroy our present – I mean making you unable to live it full force! The ability to live the present is probably the life itself, anyway, but a recurrent dream tie us to the past just because we want it, I think. In the end, it's always us: it can be scary to think we're not so different from 20 years ago, but it's always scary when you're TRULY in touch with youself, isn't it! hugs! Rusty"

I read that over and over. I thought about it a lot. Like three months worth of thinking. It's sort of hard to explain the whole thing without going into a huge autobiographical entry about my life, which could be boring and over dramatic. Then again I don't want to not complete the May entry, so I'll just try and keep it short.

I had one of those typical write-a-book-about-it childhoods...Mother dies in car crash when I was ten, alcoholic, separated father who works night shifts left with four children to care for on his own. He remarries twice to the wrong women, all within four years. I left home when I was sixteen and managed to finish high school and get a B.A. all on my own.

I had lived in Italy for a year after high school and then a year in college and I decided to go back there to work for a few years after I finished school. Everything had been so difficult up to that point that I just remembering thinking to myself - from now on life is just going to be grand! And it was for a while. I had a nice job and a boyfriend and I was young and living in Europe. But I never really thought that I would stay, I just wanted to play for a few years and then I'd go back home...
...and then my little brother died in a car crash and I just wanted to run away. I went back to Mill Valley for the funeral and we spread his ashes on top of Mt.Tamalpais and he was gone. I went back to Italy and picked up my plans to move to San Diego with my then boyfriend...but now I didn't want to go back. I just wanted to avoid reality for a bit and pretend that nothing ever happened. What happened was I fell apart. Before Billy's death I felt like I had already paid my karmic dues. As if all the bad things that were supposed to happen had been put into this little package that lasted until I was 21 and then after that I wouldn't have any more worries. Well, now I know that life doesn't exactly work that way, but it was a little more difficult for me to take when I was younger.
So the boyfriend moved to San Diego and I stayed at my job in Italy. It payed well and I liked it and I met another guy, and another...and all of the sudden I had a job in television, then modeling, and a few years went by and then a few more and then it gets to a point where it's more difficult to go back and start over again than stay where you are.

Twenty eight years have passed since I came to Italy. I've spent more time here than I have in the States. But there was never a moment when I ever said to myself "Okay, this is where I want to stay. This is my home."

Since I came upon this realization some of my attitude has changed.

More importantly, I've stopped having the dream.

Aceto Balsamico

I love Balsamic Vinegar. Love, love, love it. Whenever I've done test for food intolerance they always find me intolerant to yeasts. I can do without bread and cookies and even tea for a certain amount of time, but I absolutely CRAVE the balsamic vinegar. It totally changes the flavour of a salad or even on other vegetables. My bonus is that I live in the town where BV originated. They have "Acetaia", vinegar estates everywhere and they put it all sorts of food preparations, even ice cream. Balsamic vinegar is different because it's made with a specific grape (usually trebbiano) and then at harvest they're crushed and boiled down to 50% volume. Then theyt're aged in wood barrels for at least ten years...and voilà, you get this thick, aged liquid to pour on your veggies.
The other day I was at the supermarket getting groceries and I ventured to the Balsamic Vinegar section. Up until now I've always gone for the moderately priced ones that didn't have any artificial colouring in them because what many will do is take regular vinegar, dye it black and slap a BV label on it. While I was studying the various brands labels there was another man next to me doing the same thing. All of the sudden this lady plowed between the two of us and grabbed five bottles of one brand called "Due Ponti". The gentleman and I exchanged popped eyed stares at each other. I stopped the lady as she was walking away and asked her about her choice. She said she thought this was the best choice with a quality/price balance. A 250ml bottle costed € 9,10 euro, twice the price I've been paying. But I decided to try it out and see if she was right. OMG! What have I been ingesting all these years? The new brand was thick as syrup and you really only needed a few drops to get this wonderful cherry flavour. Makes me want to lick my plate!

Internet Fancy and rain break

I'm not very good at codeing...or rather I actually could be good but I don't have the patience to sit there and figure it out for very long. Short attention span. Anyway, please notice that I've put a new feature in my right side bar: my workouts. Fancy, fancy!
This morning I had scheduled the babysitter to come at 8.00 am so I could go running. Instead she came at 8.30. This is totally inconvenient because it's like a hundred degrees here every day right now and I don't do well in the heat (Thailand withstanding...). I was supposed to do 1km intervals but all I could do was just run them without looking at the watch. I DO have a new determination because even though I was really going slow I just kept saying to myself that I HAD to get through the workout. And I did.

It finally rained here today after two months of no rain at all. Too bad I couldn't have gone running this afternoon!